Sven Bianchi
. | first = | gender = Male | twitter = svenbianchi | last = | nickname = Clownboy }} Sven Bianchi is Dora's 28-year-old brother, he makes a living writing country songs. He is portrayed as a promiscuous womanizer when introduced, but may have grown out of it -- or at least may be going through the process of growing out of it. Biography Background Sven is a college graduate. His major is unknown, though it's assumed he may have taken some courses on music theory. Sven lives alone except for a cat named Princess. Sven is described as having a "remarkable talent" for writing terrible yet highly-profitable country music. He starts all song projects by deciding on a title then working to develop the necessary sound. The resulting payouts have been extremely lucrative, leaving him with solid financial security. However, Sven is not proud of his own work. 1–999 *Confronted by Faye about his treatment of others. *Says he has reformed. 1000s Sven hooked up with Faye after Hannelore's birthday party. Subsequently Sven has had a "relationship" with Faye that can best be described as "antagonists with benefits". Faye insisted on it not being a relationship, but warned Sven in advance that, when he would sleep with another girl, that would be the end of it. And that's exactly how it went—when Sven admitted to Faye that he'd slept with Gina Riversmith, Faye left him. This affected both parties more than they would have expected, or were ready to admit. Sven went into a sulking period after that, and, as far as we can tell, hasn't done any "hookups" since. During a party at Smif College benefit dinner Sven hired Lydia as an intern. After some time, he has agreed to take Hannelore on a "pretend" date, in order for Hannelore to learn about how dates work, as well as to provide her with a good time in the process - much to the chagrin of Dora and Faye, who are still convinced that he has not abandoned his wily womanizing ways. One might argue that Sven is (and always has been) acutely aware of his character flaws, but has some trouble figuring out how to be a nice guy and a good friend. 2000s Recently, Sven confessed to Faye that he was in love with her, to her surprise. However, he is unaware of her relationship with Angus. Dora, upon hearing this, declared Sven a "toxic person" and cut off contact with him. She maintained this position for (presumably) several weeks in-universe, until Hannelore intervened and suggested open discussion may heal them both Sven met with Dora once again, admitting that he had been a poor brother and apologizing for past misdeeds. Dora agreed they would try to rebuild their relationship, but to date things between the pair are still somewhat strained. 3000s * Sven meets Faye in a pub during Dora's and Tai's engagement part. 4000s Sven hooked up with May at his apartment after meeting her at The Horrible Revelation. Sven had to get May's charging cable when May's battery gave out because she forgot her charging cable at work. May's joint lubricant corroded Sven's hair, and he had to cut it off. They also had sex at May's job. Sven helped put back May's leg when it popped off at the hip joint. Dora didn't believe Sven when he told her about corrosive joint lubricant. They've also discussed his attempts at writing a song that isn't a trashy country song. Personality Sex and drugs and rock&roll Sexuality Sven is exclusively heterosexual. At first his relationship were shallow, tended to end dramatically, , and even included cheating. He is a heavy user of Internet porn. Since his breakup with Faye he has been single and unmotivated. He has developed cravings for a constructive emotional relationship, which he has never experienced. Drugs The only drugs Sven has been seen to consume are caffeine and alcohol. Music preferences He considers Marvin Gaye classy and for makeout music he likes Coltrane, Miles, and sometimes King Crimson. Last year he didn't like any country music except for one album from Gina Riversmith. He has a respect for porn soundtracks as being "the ultimate form of ambient music." He is known to own T-shirts for the indie rock bands Of Montreal, Pavement, Efterklang, Polvo, and Ween, the indie emo band Jejune, and for the album 1000 Hurts by the post-hardcore band Shellac. Trivia * Sven is tall, and slender despite being a heavy eater. * He has developed a taste for coffee after hating it for most of his life. * Sven plays a mage in World of Warcraft.http://twitter.com/svenbianchi He is apparently Horde. * He is also a heavy user of Internet porn. * Sven is not a mooch. Songs Completed *"You Stole My Heart, You Stole My Dog, But You Ain't Gonna Steal My Chevy." *"Drinkin' to Forget (During Built to Spill's Set)" (unsold) *"My Wife Left Me For My Girlfriend" *"Yankee Is a Four-Letter Word" *"She's Pretty (But She Ain't No John Deere)" *Title unknown, lyrics include "Your eyes are shining like the bottom of a bottle of beer" *"My Pickup Truck's My Therapist" *"Did My Wife Leave Me Or Is She Wearin' RealTree" Unfinished *"She Dumped Me So I Had Her Trailer Towed" *"Redneck Ain't My Middle Name (But It Should Be)" *"Dale Earnhardt Blues" *"Never Forget to Never Forget" Memorable quotes *"I'm practically an orgasm TECHNICIAN" *"You don't mess with Dora's 'no' look" *"This is typically the point where my good looks and deep, soulful eyes compel the lady to kiss me. But... it doesn't seem to be happening with you. Odd." *"Basically I picked the worst possible girl on earth to develop a conscience and feelings and shit about." *"I'm really bad at doing anything that doesn't come easily to me." *"An id is a terrible thing to waste" *"A good relationship is like fireworks: loud, explosive, and liable to maim you if you hold on too long." *"Nice tits. Can I take a shit on them?" Mentioned list of Relationships *Vivanca - First mentioned girlfriend in comic. Sven had just broken up with her when we meet him. *Unnamed Quebecois *Jenny Ackerman - Friend of Dora, relationship in 12th grade *Genevieve *Gina Riversmith *Faye Whitaker Speculation Sven is seen as a promiscuous womanizer by the other characters in the cast, mainly by Dora (who has her own perfectly understandable reasons to do so) and Faye, but occasionally also by others, such as Marten. However, we've seen more than one hint that the author may not necessarily agree with this. Sven's 'issue' may be related to how he is perceived within his social circle. He's perceived as a womanizer; he knows he's good at that, so that's what he does. He has found that it is easier to conform to his perceived image than to try and alter it. This may be partly caused by the fact that he's basically rather unsure of his virtues and qualities outside of the perceived image of a womanizer. We've seen proof of Sven being acutely aware of his shallowness as a musician as well as as a human being. His devastatingly good looks don't help one bit - even when he's too smitten to pursue romantic or sexual encounters, girls keep hitting on him. Even though Dora genuinely cares about her brother - to the point where she reaches out to him when she thinks he needs some support - she is (unconsciously) not exactly helping him to do something about it - she actually uses him as the prototypical seducer when she hires him to train Cosette and Hannelore to say no to pickup-attempts from CoD customers. It has recently become apparent that Hannelore (who has an uncanny ability to see through people) disagrees with Dora when it comes to Sven. Yet another possibility is that he resorted to promiscuity for the common reason of low self-esteem. Gallery sven.JPG|First appearance in